Priest drama

We're still waiting for Father Bastia to return Lui's calls. It bothers me that we don't have a nickname for Fr. Bastia, since we have nicknames for the rest of the priests. Yes, priests, plural. Let me start over.

When we were first looking for a church in Rhode Island (April 2006), only one pastor would agree to even meet with us, since we weren't parishioners and Lui's not a Catholic. That pastor was Fr. Bastia, and through him, we were able to secure the beautiful little red-brick-outer, peach-marble-interior building known as St. Ann's. Fr. Bastia was strict, but forgiving - he okayed our need to be civilly married beforehand, our desire to have one of the readings be in French, even my two Jewish maids of honor (provided that I get a Catholic witness to sign the church's registry book).

This past winter, we were planning a trip back to RI to finalize some more plans, we called the church hoping that we could make an appointment to check in with Fr. Bastia. Not only did we find out that Fr. Bastia had been transferred to another parish within the dioscese, but that St. Ann's now had no record of us planning a wedding there. Fortunately, the associate pastor, Friar Tuck, remembered us from the previous April, and was able to locate one or two pieces from our file (the rest had mysteriously vanished). Friar Tuck was not the priest who had replaced Fr. Bastia - he was still the assistant - but the new pastor, we were told, was on sabbatical, so it would be Friar Tuck who would marry us.

We went to RI in February, and on the first day we were there, spent over an hour in Friar Tuck's office, discussing details of the wedding. Friar Tuck is young, kind of bumbling, not the brightest crayon in the box, but really nice, and so down-to-earth, you'd forget he was a priest. (Example: he told us that our file had been lost because the new priest was stoned all the time, and that his "sabbatical" was in fact rehab.) We parted on good terms and said we'd be there the following Sunday to attend Mass before heading back to CA.

That Sunday, instead of giving a sermon, Friar Tuck made an announcement: he too had been transferred and would be leaving the parish the following week, at which point Father Rehab would be returning to reclaim his pastorship (or however you say that). Lui and I were dumbfounded, but caught Friar Tuck's attention on our way out of the church, and he told us that, if we still wanted him to, he would come back and preside over our wedding. We agreed.

Some weeks later, we called the parish to see about bringing in our own soloist, rather than using one of the choir ladies from St. Ann's (I wasn't too impressed with what we'd heard that Sunday at Mass, and as a long-time choirgirl myself, wanted someone whose talent I can personally account for to sing at our wedding). That worked out fine, but Fr. Rehab told us that Friar Tuck would not be able to preside. Now, I'd been in contact with Friar tuck since returning to CA, and knew for a fact that he was available and willing to do it, and so asked him what Fr. Rehab meant by saying he couldn't. Turns out, these two priests do not like each other - they had some sort of a falling out, maybe Tuck turned Rehab in to rehab or something - and that, as the pastor of the church, Fr. Rehab has every right to refuse allowance to anyone, including Friar Tuck, and, more frighteningly, to us if we don't play by his rules. But, he said, it would be fine if we wanted Fr. Bastia to come back and preside.

Now here's the thing. It doesn't bother me that Fr. Rehab has been in rehab, because at least it means that he's a repented stoner rather than a current one. What does bother me is that, when the priest stands up to give a sermon at our wedding, I want him to be able to start with, "When I first met Elle and Lui..." and give some amusing anecdote and great insight into our characters and relationship. And it's really frustrating that these guys are so catty, taking out their personal problems on us, and in the Church no less - no wonder we Catholics get such reputations! (Incidentally, everyone keeps telling me to report all this to the bishop, which I'd totally be doing if we were having the wedding here. But as it is, we're kind of at the mercy of Fr. Rehab, because we literally have no other church options in the state of RI, and anyway, the invitations have already been printed.)

So we're waiting for Fr. Bastia to return Lui's calls - I know it's almost Holy Week, but c'mon - and if he's unavailable to marry us, we're stuck with Fr. Rehab. Lui says that, despite his, er, idiosyncracies, Fr. Rehab does seem like a nice enough guy - I'm sure it hasn't been an easy time for him, and he's entitled to be touchy and weird to some extent, right? And he has offered to meet with us as soon as we get back to RI at the end of June, because he understands the need for us to all get to know each other before the big day. But still...

I'd love to say I've changed my evil ways and now refuse to be a catalyst for or perpetuator of drama... But we've already invited Friar Tuck to attend the reception, regardless of who ends up presiding.