Amanda, Pigeon, & I left late: after Amanda & I had gone to BodyPump (which, thanks to a weekend veto on talking about BodyPump, will henceforth be referred to as "Casual Anonymous Sex," for at least the recounting of this weekend, but most likely for the rest of eternity); after I had showered and finished packing; after Amanda had insisted on sticking to her South Beach diet and eaten only salad & meatballs while the rest of my family had spaghetti & garlic bread to go with it; after Pigeon had come over and joined me in eating frosting out of the can while on the phone telling her boyfriend what an asshole the choreographer from our old children's theatre group is; after my mom had tried to get us to take hats for the sun/snacks for the car/all sorts of other mom-like things that we tuned out and refused.
Then we made the mistake of following Google Maps' directions to our hotel in Palm Desert - a mistake that must've saved us a good two hours of driving time, but took us almost entirely through the mountains. We did, however, stop at the best gas station/mini mart ever, where they sold retro items like Kool-Aid Bursts, as well as futuristic items such as blue cow water. We also convinced Amanda to break down and break her diet, which resulted in the purchase of chocolate pretzel Flips, powdered Donettes, some sort of potato chip, a Nerds Rope, and sour Peachy-O's.
Temecula turned out to be a very excited little city: we found "Temecula! Dental", "Great Wraps!", and "For Golfers Only!" in the space of about five minutes. It also turned out to be the last of civilization we'd see until we got to Palm Desert, so we listened to Avenue Q while braving the pitch-black mountain roads, keeping tabs on our cell phone reception so we could check in with the other cars. The LA Party Train was our ticket to check-in, as the reservation was in Suzy's name; the SB Party Train had a man down, puking in the bathroom of some rest-stop mini-mall.
We got to the hotel first and had to kill some time in the parking lot, while waiting for Suzy to get us in. Pigeon found a grapefruit tree and climbed it, then started throwing grapefruits down to Amanda, who had the brilliant idea to put them in her shirt. The sprinklers came on before we had all six grapefruit boobs, but Pigeon's such a trooper that she stayed up there and got them for us anyway. We stood out by the back of Amanda's mom's car for about 20 minutes with our fruitastic racks, turning away from anyone who passed us so they wouldn't harass us for stealing produce, as it were.
Finally, the LA Party Train pulled up. Suzy was the first to notice.
"What are those?" she asked, laughing.
I sauntered over as best I could without, erm, falling out. "Those," I said, reaching into my shirt, pulling out the grapefruits, and handing them to her through the open window, "are breakfast."
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2 comments:
Yeah. As a member of the SB party train, I gotta say you guys had a smoother trip.
I did introduce Anabella to the wonders of Demitri Martin, however.
What a lovely post!
Now, I understand the pile of grapefruit in the bathroom. :) And how come you didn't give me the heads up on the cool mini mart? Joe & I were stuck with stale, hot water and a sad granola bar he's had in his car for 3 months. :)
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