I dreamed last night that my dad had died, and that my mom killed herself because she couldn't live without him. They left these medals hanging from the branches of a tree, which was covered in similar hangings - it was in lieu of a graveyard, I guess, sort of like last words from the dead, and my mom's said exactly that: "I can't live without him."
[I've been learning the female part of "Whiskey Lullaby," by Alison Krauss and Brad Paisley, because Irish was so disappointed that I couldn't sing it with him in his car the other night, and, thanks to my dad's obsession, I happen to have access to an Alison Krauss CD. So this may have something to do with that .]
Looking at the two medals (I can't remember what my dad's said), I started to cry, even though I already knew they were both gone - it'd been a while. And just as I was sobbing, loudly, "Neither of my parents lived long enough to see me do anything successful!", my alarm went off.
I wondered, briefly if it was a sign that I should start making more of an effort to do something with my life. Then I got up and went to work at the grocery store.
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So I was randomly reading this tonight:
http://www.salon.com/mwt/feature/2007/07/09/katie_roiphe/
and the part about "how many things happen in a relationship when you're not looking" really scared me. There's a lot that happens in life, period, when we're not looking (like: you're married! and I was THERE even!) and, oh, hell, I don't know, carpe diem? Maybe dreams should wake us up to some things?
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