Irish came over the other night (while Lui was working a graveyard), panicking because some guy had been hitting on his crazy non-roommate friend while they were playing volleyball, and had gone so far as to smack her ass in a manner that caused her to look to Irish for help. Supposedly two guys had had to hold him back, and by the time he got to my apartment, he was still bouncing up and down, clenching fists, talking about going down to Mission Valley to find this guy and beat him up.
Eventually, I got him to calm down enough to sit down, and so we ended up sitting cross-legged on my bedroom floor, across from each other with our knees touching, and he was begging me to hit him again.
"I can't."
"Why not?"
Because it feels like foreplay. "Because I have no reason to hit you. You don't deserve it."
"Please, Elle, just do it. Nothing will change, I promise. You'll still be a good person. Just hit me."
"I can't."
This went on for some time, and was becoming comedic, when I finally asked,
"Why? Why do you want me to hit you so much?"
"Because I didn't want to go with her. And if I had gone, I would've been driving. And I drive faster, so I would've passed the truck. I let her down. And now I've let [crazy non-roommate] down. They needed me, and I failed them. So please, Elle. Just hit me. Because she can't."
"No. I'm not gonna hit you. You don't deserve it. You didn't fail, you couldn't have known. And I'm not her."
And then he grabbed my hands in his and leaned forward so his forehead was on top of all four of our hands. And he started sobbing - not quite crying, but shaking, and apologizing: "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry I asked you." And I rested my cheek on his head and just kept telling him that it wasn't his fault, that he couldn't have known, that he didn't fail anyone, and that I wasn't going to hit him.
Unfortunately, I think he has new ideas about doing everything he can to protect me, to break the curse of letting down every woman he cares about. Or something. And he's still trying to provoke me enough to hit him. But it feels more like a running joke now.
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3 comments:
i've been banned from my computer at work since last week so just now caught up on my reading even though i already talked to you so already kinda knew... my instinct in to move to san diego to try to fix everything for you, and my therapist keeps trying to tell me to stop trying to be everyone's mom, and i guess nobody can fix things for you but you (or something lame like that)
When are we going to meet about this? :) The fire has not post-poned our big sis/lil sis chat!!! THIS WEEKEND, MARIE!!!!!
D
Jamie - Whatever gets you to move to San Diego is fine by me, but you can't come down here trying to fix my problems (which are essentially trying to be everybody's mom) if you have the same ones.
Dawn - Yeah, this weekend's still on. Lunch on Saturday?
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